The Tourist Who Asked Why There Are No Uber Boats in the Maldives

Dave: (stepping out of his overwater bungalow, squinting at a nearby island)
"I need to get to that island over there. Why isn’t there an Uber Boat?"
Lisa: (adjusting her sunhat with a sigh)
"Dave, you can’t Uber a boat."
Dave: (pulling out his phone, confused)
"Why not? If I can Uber a car, a bike, even a helicopter in some cities, why not a boat? This is the Maldives! It’s, like, 99% water!"
He zoomed in on the ocean using the Uber app. No little boat icons appeared. Just endless, beautiful turquoise.
Determined, Dave strutted up to the resort’s front desk. A staff member greeted him with a warm smile.
Dave:
"Excuse me—why aren’t there Uber Boats here? It seems like a missed opportunity."
Ali (Staff): (a little surprised, but keeping it professional)
"Sir… we have speedboats. And dhoni ferries. You can just… book one."
Dave:
"Yeah, but that’s not the same. I want to press a button and have a boat show up in five minutes. Maybe with a captain named Mohammed who rates me afterward."
Ali: (trying not to laugh)
"The ocean is a bit less predictable than city traffic, sir."
Dave: (persistent)
"So? Uber Eats delivers sushi. Why can’t Uber Sail deliver me?"
Lisa: (facepalming quietly)
"Please stop."
A nearby Australian tourist, sipping coconut water, overhears and joins in.
Aussie Tourist:
"Mate, if you invent Uber Boats, I’ll invest. Imagine surge pricing during high tide!"
Dave: (eyes lighting up)
"Exactly! Dynamic pricing. Oh, monsoon season? That’s triple the fare!"
Ali: (handing him a brochure)
"For now, sir, I recommend the local ferry. No star ratings, but it does float."
Eventually, Dave relents. As the ferry putters off toward the island…
Lisa: (muttering)
"Next time, let’s just Google things before we travel."
Dave: (grinning)
"Nah. Where’s the fun in that?"
And thus, as their boat made its gentle way across the lagoon, Dave spent the whole ride drafting his billion-dollar startup idea:
Maldivian Uber Boats – Because Walking on Water is So Last Millennium.
The End. 🚤🌴
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