Tom Jenkins was an average guy. He worked at a small tech company, his hobbies included binge-watching Netflix, and he hadn’t been to the gym in years. So, when he accidentally traveled through time, he was, understandably, confused.

It all started on a Thursday—Tom’s least favorite day of the week. He was sitting in his cubicle, trying to decipher an email that was 90% jargon and 10% passive-aggressive emojis, when his phone vibrated. It was a text from his friend Steve: "Hey, meet me at the bar after work?"

Tom was already planning on heading home to nap and eat pizza, but Steve's invitation was oddly tempting. He decided to risk it.

After lunch, Tom hit "send" on an email to his boss (a highly creative masterpiece that was mostly just a string of well-timed GIFs) and headed out of the office. He passed by an old vending machine in the hallway, its faint hum a little too compelling to ignore. The machine was stocked with all kinds of snacks, including the rare chocolate-covered pretzel—a flavor so sophisticated, it was practically a gift from the gods.

As Tom fumbled with the machine’s buttons, he accidentally knocked the entire thing out of order. It started making strange noises, and then, with a loud whirr, the machine ejected a candy bar directly into his face. At that moment, everything went weird.

Tom’s world warped into a colorful swirl. The vending machine, his office building, even the walls around him, all began to dissolve into nothingness. He had no idea what was happening, but then he blinked, and suddenly he was standing in the middle of a medieval battlefield.

"Uh, okay…" Tom mumbled, looking around at the knights in full armor, the banners flying high, and the faint smell of roasted boar. "Did I take a wrong turn on my way to happy hour?"

Before he could process his newfound situation, a knight in shining armor rode up to him, his sword drawn. "Stranger! Who art thee? Are you with the enemy?"

Tom, now wishing he had paid more attention in history class, tried to think fast. "Uh, no… I’m just here for the… um… free samples?" he stammered, gesturing vaguely to the battlefield. “I’m, uh, a time traveler!”

The knight blinked. "Time traveler? What sorcery is this?" he asked, clearly baffled.

Tom was just as confused but figured that going with it might be the safest bet. "Yeah, uh… just came from the future. The year 2024. You know, when people use cell phones to text each other. You have, like, 10,000 apps on them and everything."

The knight stared at him, mouth agape. "Apps? Does it mean magic? This wizardry you speak of… what else is there to know?"

“Uh,” Tom said, gesturing helplessly at the scene around them, “it’s not that cool. It’s mostly just like… YouTube and pizza apps."

The knight shook his head, clearly disappointed by the lack of real magic. "Thou art a strange sorcerer indeed. Come! Join our noble quest to the castle! You will find glory!"

Tom, still very much unsure of what had just happened, decided to follow the knight to the castle. After all, how often does a regular guy from 2024 get invited to join a medieval adventure?

As they approached the castle gates, Tom's phone suddenly buzzed. "Hey, you coming to the bar or what?" It was Steve again.

"Ugh, you have no idea," Tom muttered to himself as he stared at his phone, realizing that Steve would never believe him if he told him he was stuck in the year 1450. "I’ll be there in a sec."

But then, as if the universe was playing an elaborate joke, the same swirling vortex that had taken him to the past suddenly reappeared. With no warning, it sucked him back up and dropped him into what appeared to be the far future—hovercars, neon lights, and robots everywhere.

"Great," Tom said, staring at a robot offering him a futuristic snack, "what’s next? Am I going to get stuck in the Cretaceous period or something?"

The robot smiled—yes, robots smile now—and handed him a holographic business card. "Would you like to join our time travel tour group?" it asked cheerfully. "You seem like a pro."

Tom just sighed. "Yeah, I’ve got so much experience with this…"

And that’s how Tom Jenkins became the first accidental time traveler to have a really confusing weekend.